CityMama™

"You'll sleep more when the kids get older" and other bullshit parenting stories

A typical night in the CityMama household.

7:00—Kids in bed. Lights out.

7:05—Bunny forgot to go to the bathroom. Wallie decides she needs more water in her sippy cup.

7:10—Listen to Bunny complain (insert whiny 4-year-old voice here) about how much she "hates her room" because she has "no one to sleep with" even though her sister is 15 steps away.

7:15—Re-tuck everyone in to bed. Reassure Bunny that no, there are no mites in her bed (she's obsessed with insects these days) even though you know there are. Lights out.

Midnight—After close to 5 hours of lovely, relaxing, kid-free time.  Get into bed.

12:30—Bunny exits her room to go to the bathroom then tries to get into bed, something she has done every night for a year. Remind her that we are working on sleeping in our own bed and that Mamma said that if she sleeps in her own bed for five nights in a row, Mamma will buy her "a bunch of candycanes." (Bunny's suggestion.) Bunny turns and gets back into her bed.

3:07—Neighbor's yappy-ass chihuahua goes on his nightly barking jag.  Stops 10 minutes later. Listen to J. mumbling something about BB guns.

3:42—A Harley roars up the street and sets off someone's extra sensitive car alarm. Reach for earplugs. Insert.

4:29—Awaken as Bunny crawls up next to you from the foot of the bed.

6:49—Feel Bunny wake-up and trot off to her room to get dressed.  (She must get dressed first thing in the AM.  Is this a weird 4-year-old quirk or is it just my kid?)

7:01—Dream that one of your children is yelling about something. Awaken to Wallie shouting, "I wanna get out of da crib, Mamma. I wanna get out of da crib, Papa." Alternately. Over and over again.

7:02—Stumble to Wallie's crib, lift her out. She's already half-way there with one leg over the crib. Bring her into bed with you.

7:09—Bunny leans over, fully dressed, and whispers, "It's 'seven-zero-nine,' Mamma." Ignore.

7:10—"It's seven-ten, Mamma."

7:11—"It's 'seven-one-one,' no, it's 'seven-eleven,' Mamma." Curse the day you taught Bunny how to read a digital clock. Remind Bunny that she is not to bother you until the clock says what now? "Eight-zero-zero, Mamma." Turn over. Try to get a few more precious moments of sleep.

7:13—Jerk awake after Wallie attempts to open your eye with her fingers.  Tell her to cut it out. Wallie laughs.

7:14—Feel tiny fingers tickling your eyelashes. Then your nostril. Then your ear. FUCK!!!

7:15—Click TV on.  Both kids sit up and shut-up, mesmerized by the TV. Thank god. Before kids you would never have had a TV in your room. Kills intimacy and all that.  Fuck intimacy. Sleep is good.

8:00—"It's 'eight-zero-zero,' Mamma...Wake up...It's time for breakfast. Wallie and I want Gorilla Munch."

Finally pin-point why it is you are so goddamn grouchy all day.  Decide that maybe Joan Crawford wasn't so cruel for tying her kids to the bed after all. No wonder she always looked fabulous. It was all the sleep...and a lack of conscience from being an alcoholic, but whatever.

Make coffee.

Commercial

L.A. Daddy has a great post about commercials that reminded me that I've been thinking about commercials lately, too.

Does that car really park itself?  I mean, really? Park itself?

Peace—Love—The Gap. That Common commercial is on, like, every other commercial. And I freakin' LOVE it. If you ask me, ain't no such thing as too much Common. You gotta admit it's much less painful than that godawful Audrey Hepburn-AC/DC mash-up.

Bunny asked me the other day, "Mamma, do we have the Gerber Life Grow-up Plan?" Actually said the words, "The Gerber Life Grow-up Plan."  PBS isn't supposed to have full-on commercials.  I had no idea until she asked me if we had "The Gerber Life Grow-up Plan." First Melanie, now this? I effing hate you, PBS Kids Sprout.

The previews for Apocalypto scare the bejeezus outta me. I mean, come on.

And regarding all those jewelry commercials. How many of those circle or S-shaped diamond pendants are Zales and Kay going to sell this year? Tons. To unsuspecting guys that will overpay for shitty, grey, inclusioned diamonds. After Christmas they will be everywhere. 

I don't understand the concept of wearing a piece of jewelry that everyone and their mother has. It's like how everyone has a princess-cut platinum diamond ring now. Boring.  Or those goddamn Tiffany chain bracelets that were all the rage a couple of years ago. Yawn. The fact that everyone has something makes me want to run screaming from it. Well, except for leopard-print ballet flats.  I know they are everywhere, but I had to have them.

Overall though, I love Christmas commercials. I love watching families gather together. I love seeing snow and fires in fireplaces. I can almost smell the Christmas trees. These commercials herald that Christmas, my favoritest holiday, is nigh. And that warms my cynical heart.

The best obituary ever

This obit was in my co-worker's local paper this week. She shared it with us (thanks, Valle!), and, after reading it, I know why. It's the funniest obituary I have ever read. It seems weird to say that, but it's true. It's wonderful.

The decedent apparently wrote it himself. I imagine that his friends and family read this and smiled through their tears. What a feisty character. He must have been a force to be reckoned with. I would have liked to have known him.

COOPERSTOWN, N.Y. - With trumpets blaring, Zeus, god of gods, called Daniel Reed Porter III to His Heavenly Pantheon on Nov. 21, 2006. He (Porter, not Zeus) was the second White child born in the new maternity ward of Cooley Dickinson Hospital in Northampton on his father's birthday July 2, 1930. His mother Eleanor (Parsons) needed all the help she could get.

Porter was reared on a small farm with his siblings in Worthington. Sickly as a child, his parents often contemplated drowning him in Watt's Brook that flowed (trickled in summer) behind the house into which (the brook, not the house) they deposited other trash, sewage and cow manure. After being partially educated in local schools, Porter matriculated in the class of 1952 at UMass, formerly Mass Aggie. Here he failed to distinguish himself in any meaningful way, and managed to alienate a number of his classmates and professors. Upon graduation without honors, Porter was drafted into the Army and served in Korea before and after the armistice. There he learned more than at college - never volunteer, be cowardly to survive, don't circulate petitions and keep away from indigenous females.

Returning home ill-prepared for an occupation, he was strangely accepted by the University of Michigan Graduate School where he tried to prepare for an acceptable if not respectable occupation.

A 35-year career as a museum and historical agency administrator and museum director followed. He moved from state to state five times to keep ahead of his reputation. He completed his career ignominiously in Cooperstown in 1992. On his demise, he was a member of no organization, club or charity.

Porter was not survived by his parents and sister, Janice Leroux. But surviving him are his relict, Joan (Dornfeld); a daughter, Leslie, her husband, Edward Easton III, and their daughters, Erika, Caitlin, and Allison, of Coudersport (God's Country), Pa.; his son, Andrew, and his wife, Amy (Pens), and their heir, Reed; a brother, Edward, and his wife, Shirley (Smith), on Watt's Brook; a brother-in-law, Al Leroux, and his Buick sedan of Northampton; and numbers of nieces and nephews.

There will be no final rites or any mumbo-jumbo. He will not lie in state at the The Farmers' Museum. His cremated remains will be scattered on Watt's Brook. Memorial gifts will not be accepted and cards are a waste of money.

Rest in peace, Mr. Porter.

Leftovers: Tips & Links for 11/28/06

• This is a really great article by Sandy Hu on the importance of home-cooked meals.
• One of my favorite Ferry Building shops is making beautiful and tasty holiday gift baskets.  You can also order online.  If you stop into the store, definitely pick up a bag of tiny dried chilis.  They make the best arrabiata sauce! (We've been crumbling them over everything!)
• If you still have Thanksgiving leftovers on hand, I made this soup last night, and it was delicious.

Holiday gifts: Viv & Ingrid accessories

Today's cute gift idea is earrings from Viv & Ingrid. (Thanks for the tip, Bad Kitty!)

I'm currently loving the earrings, all of them, but especially these.  (If only I could wear earrings, I can't. Allergic.)

The "tiny posts" pictured above sound fascinating. I love the idea of a teeny little stud.  Bad Kitty says they're real cute, and I trust her opinion. 

Take a look around the site, I'm sure you'll fall in love with one or three things.

Shiver in my bones just thinking about the weather

I swear it was like summer time in the days leading up to Thanksgiving. I think I even turned the AC on in the car at one point.

Now, though, it's rainy and cold. Yesterday it was hard to know where the fog ended and rain clouds began. The weather has turned and I know this because my lips are horribly chapped. This happens to me everytime the weather changes from Indian summer to full on winter.

Today I was looking in the girls' closet at all the myriad puffy jackets, thick sweaters, rain boots, scarves, mittens, and knit hats, such practical reminders that we once lived in a city where temperatures dip below 40º.  We have no need for them here anymore.

Sure the rain gear will come in handy every once in awhile, but parkas and gloves look out of place here in San Francisco. And, we don't ski, so.

When we lived in Portland, I would bundle the girls up warmly before we headed out on our daily walks. Coats went over sweaters, hats and scarves were a must. Mittens didn't always take. Sometimes, a wool "Ugly Betty-style" turtleneck poncho would go over everything for extra warmth.  Bunny's preschool teacher actually teased me for my bundling overkill, but hey, it's a lot colder there than it is here. The Pacific Northwest has that bone-chilling damp cold.

Wallie would go out in the stroller swaddled in two cashmere blankets and then placed in a fleece and sheepskin bunting. Then more blankets would be piled on top of her.

I'm such a wimp. I'd never survive living in a snowy climate. I'd never leave the house. My kids would have to be unschooled. I'd order all my groceries from Amazon. We'd never eat a fresh vegetable for the duration of the winter.

Everyone here always jokes that the weather report here is always the same, day in, day out:

We'll have patchy morning fog clearing by noon. 70's inland, 60's at the coast.

But I like me a mild winter day. Heck, if it dips below 60º today maybe I'll even wear a scarf.

Thanksgiving week culinary highlights

It goes without saying that Thanksgiving is all about great eats, and this one was no exception.  My mom, sister, and brother and his family came into town last week along with my mom's best friend and her husband. Their son and his family live close to San Francisco, so we had a big, extended family and friends Thanksgiving.

Crab Dinner

On Tuesday before Thanksgiving, we had dinner at Scoma's, a kitschy, touristy, wall-to-wall carpeted, "old San Francisco" kind of restaurant. My brother, who had never been there, was worried that it would be a tourist trap, which it is, but when it comes to fish and crab, I think Scoma's rivals any fancy restaurant.  The preparations were simple and unfettered, which is how I like my fish anyway. If you've never been, ask the waiter what the fresh fish of the day is and she or he will show you a list at least 10-12  items long.  We were there to celebrate the start of dungeness crab season and my mom picked the menu of garlic roasted crab, green salad, and martinis. Sixteen of us shared a private room where all the kids could get up and "stretch their legs." They all sat back down when it was time for the rich, chewy chocolate gelato (heavenly!).  It was the perfect way to kick off the week.

Chinese Banquet

On the Wednesday, my mom's friend invited us to a Chinese banquet at one of my favorite restaurants, Great Eastern. They are known for their impeccably fresh seafood.  Our eight course meal consisted of:

1. a cold platter of thinly sliced drunken beef, cold chicken, char siu (roast pork), fish cake, and jellyfish
2. taro soup (a rich, clear broth flavored with taro, carrots, and meat)
3. salt and pepper crab with chilis and green onions
4. sauteed water spinach
5. steamed chicken and black mushrooms with ginger
6. fried pork hash with hamni (salt fish)
7. chili beef
8. clams with sweet and sour Chinese pickles

It was BYOB so we had Prosecco and wine to go with. There was so much food leftover that my refrigerator was packed.

Thanksgiving Day

On Thanksgiving day, we started the morning at J.'s family's house where we had an early, homemade Thanksgiving meal. Then later, we all went out to dinner at the Fairmont Hotel which has become a recent tradition for my family since our Thanksgiving celebrations seem to be getting bigger and bigger. We all love it because we can stuff ourselves with caviar and blinis, oysters on the half shell, sashimi, foie gras, and fancy cheeses.  We always joke that they hate to see us coming because they lose money on us.  We had a lovely table next to the window overlooking the bay. We could see Alcatraz and both bridges and our dinner was timed with sunset so we got to enjoy that, too.

As far as buffets go, we all agreed that overall it was really good.  I didn't have turkey, but I did try the lamb which was cooked perfectly, and the Beef Wellington which was nice and pink on the inside. The gratin dauphinois consisted of thinly shaved potatoes and was light as a feather.  The cheeses were all local and included the likes of Humboldt Fog and Point Reyes blue, and the paté and salumi platter was divine.  Special touches included a Cobb salad station where a server tossed salads to order, a chocolate fondue fountain, and a kids' buffet table which was lower to the ground and included things like mini-burgers, baked chicken legs, Jello and Rice Krispy treats. (My kids eschewed that in favor of lamb and tortellini al pesto...but they did eat Jello.)

Post-Thanksgiving Turkey Dinner

I knew that at some point over the weekend of Thanksgiving I wanted to cook a turkey dinner because we'd all miss "traditional" Thanksgiving fare in a relaxed atmosphere. The week before, I went to Whole Foods with the intention of ordering my holiday turkey but I was sidelined by the folks taking orders for their holiday meals.  "All organic," they said. "We use real cream and butter," they said. I thought about whether I really wanted to spend an entire day cooking, an activity I normally love, and decided to order the complete dinner.

It was delivered on Wednesday before Thanksgiving and included a cooked Diestel turkey, maple-herb butter to glaze the turkey, green beans with shallots and fresh herbs, roasted garlic mashed potatoes, dressing, turkey gravy, whole cranberry-citrus sauce, 12 La Brea bakery rolls, and a whole pumpkin pie.  They even included a roasting pan, a large plastic bag with which to wrap up the turkey carcass, re-heating instructions, and a recipe for turkey noodle soup. We all agreed (and we are an extremely hard to please bunch) that it was excellent and tasted homemade. The turkey was moist and juicy from brining, the gravy was made with drippings, the dressing tasted like my own recipe (buttery and with loads of fresh herbs), the mashed potatoes were like silk.  My only complaint was that there were no yams. The dinner was so good that I've already written my letter to Whole Foods telling them how much we enjoyed it. Dinner was on the table within an hour and a half, and the rest of the day was spent with family. As it should be.

Monday Meal Planning—11/27/06

It's hard to think about a week's worth of menus after coming off Thanksgiving week and all that encompasses, but here goes.

• Monday—Not Mexican this week, J. wants open-faced turkey sandwiches. To go with: steamed artichokes.
• Tuesday—Leftover Turkey Tetrazzini, roasted Brussels sprouts
• Wednesday—Tomato bruschette, cold-cuts, fruit
• Thursday—Soup made with turkey broth, not sure what kind yet (anything but turkey noodle)
• Friday—Take out or dinner out
• Saturday—Date night
• Sunday—Pasta made with spaghetti and herbs that my sister brought back from Italy (more on this later); green salad dressed with walnut oil and lemon.

Dinnertime conversation

File under: because I want to remember.

Wallie: I had a bad dweam.
Me: What did you dream about?
Wallie (with furrowed brow): Bats...and...and shocks (sharks).
Bunny: I will protect you, Wallie. I will be a knight and I will battle the bats and the sharks with my sword.

Wallie stares at Bunny blankly.

Bunny: And if a jellyfish tries to sting you, I will poop on it.

Turkey Tetrazzini from Saveur

I know what you are thinking: "Yuck."

I know, I know. I remember Turkey Tetrazzini from college cafeteria days, too. It was never a popular choice which is why I was surprised to see a recipe for it in the November 2006 issue of Saveur. The recipe description says straight up, "this isn't the Turkey Tetrazzini as you know it." In fact, it's almost nothing like the original recipe with the exception of the turkey and the noodles.

What intrigued me about this recipe was that it called for one cup of ketchup, an obvious bastardization of Escoffier's original recipe. And, I admit, I am a sucker for a good bastardization of a recipe, especially one that has been handed down through the generations like this one has. I'm also a sucker for a trashy, retro casserole. Ain't nothing fancy about a recipe that calls for one cup of ketchup.

But, what I liked most about this recipe was that it made the turkey into something completely different and un-turkey-like. There were no "Thanksgiving flavors" in this recipe, and after three days of eating turkey, that's a good thing.

This recipe would be great made with leftover turkey that has been frozen and defrosted, perhaps as a part of a casual family meal around the holidays. If you're sick of turkey, freeze three cups of it and make this casserole at a later date.

The recipe says it serves eight, but my family of four hearty eaters only made it through about 1/4 of a 9' x 12' pan. I think it can easily serve 10-12, especially if you serve other things alongside.  We had a green salad and leftover Thanksgiving green beans with this.

Try it.  I think you'll be pleasantly surprised...if you keep your expectations low.

TURKEY TETRAZZINI

Notes: I omitted the bell pepper, canned mushrooms, and pimentos and it still was delicious.

2 tbsp. butter
7 cups chicken broth
1 green bell pepper
1 large yellow onion, finely chopped
salt and freshly ground pepper (I didn't add any additional salt as the broth, ketchup, and turkey were salty enough)
1 lb. dried spaghetti
1 lb. skinless, boneless roasted turkey, torn into large chunks (about 3 cups)
2 cups frozen peas, thawed (I added them frozen)
1 cup ketchup
1 7-oz. can mushrooms, drained
1/4 cup finely chopped drained pimentos
3 cups (about 1/2 pound) grated cheddar cheese (I used a mixture of grated mozzarella and grated sharp cheddar.)

Preheat oven to 350º.

Butter and 11" x 13" casserole dish with 1 tbsp. of the butter.

Combine broth, peppers, onions, garlic, and salt and pepper to taste in a large pot and bring to a boil. Add spaghetti broken in pieces, reduce heat to medium, and boil gently, stirring often until spaghetti is al dente, about 12-14 minutes. (Or two minutes less than directions on box indicate.) Remove from heat, add remaining butter, turkey, peas, ketchup, mushrooms, pimentos, and salt and pepper to taste and fold together. Transfer spaghetti mixture to buttered dish and cover with grated cheese. Bake until golden and bubbly, about 30 minutes. Set casserole aside to let cool slightly, then serve.

[Mosaic created with fd's flickr toys using Stefania Pomponi Butler's photos]