Adding to MetroDad's hilarious and spot-on list, these parents are particular to the area where I live.
THE CO-OP PRESCHOOL MOM
Species: Waldorfus Granolus
Signature Behavior: Taking notes on kids' behavior while playing, pulling "healthy snacks" out of reusable hemp bags, coaxing kids to sip homemade almond milk from washed-out jelly jars, talking loudly about how much she enjoys being in the classroom everyday, all day, with her four-year-old. ("I'm learning everyday, too!!") Attending a 100 hours-worth of parent ed workshops a month.
Distinctive Markings: Go-cup with two tea bags hanging out of it, stack of positive parenting books + Mothering and Brain, Child magazines, fleece vest, Teva sandals, kids with gender-neutral hair.
Natural Enemies: Soho Moms (or in SF they'd be "Laurel Heights" Moms), working moms, anyone with a life
Mating Call:
"Honey, I see that you are frustrated because that boy pushed you. What are you feeling right now? Tell me so I can acknowledge and validate it. Let's go sit with that boy and we can share our feelings and hopefully come to a resolution that everyone feels good about."
THE TECHMAMA
Species: Twitterus Mater
Signature Behavior: Treos chirping with Twitter updates, listening to conference calls on mute, surfing internet on cell phone, seeking out playgrounds near WiFi hotspots.
Distinctive Markings: Decidedly uncorporate attire, Blackberries/Treos, diaper bags that also contain laptops + extra battery, large coffee, kids saying "Mom, watch this!" seventeen times before Mom looks up from her screen.
Natural Enemies: Luddite parents
Mating Call: "@ Grace Davis I'm at park with kids. U going 2 Cybersalon?"
THE MILLIONAIRE MOM
Species: Googlus Stockus
Signature Behavior: Talking about building, buying, or remodeling a home.
Distinctive Markings: Mercedes R-class, Porsche SUV or plebeian Prius, permatan, perfectly pedicured toes, Juicy Couture sweatsuit, Burberry accessories.
Natural Enemies: MSN, Yahoo, or Microsoft parents
Mating Call: "We're putting in recycled bamboo flooring, a wind-powered hot tub, and a stove that cooks with solar energy. I've also frozen my eggs in case a surrogate wants to have kids for me someday."
THE GEEK DAD
Species: Homo Citymama Husbandus
Signature Behavior: Squinting at Crackberry, taking calls at inappropriate times, obsessively checking phone to see if it works because no one called in the last 5 minutes.
Distinctive Markings: Stained obscure tech conference schwag t-shirt, slept-in pants, Croc flip-flops
Natural Enemies: Sales and marketing guys, Sys Admins, Coach Dads/Jocks, wives with "honey do" lists
Mating Call: "THE NETWORK'S DOWN! Come on, kids! I know we just got here, but I gotta take you home so I can run to the data center!!! Hurry up! Wait... Where's Wallie?"
