Everyday I scroll through the blogs in my feed reader and am so appreciative of the bloggers who I've been reading for what feels like forever who—despite having busy lives—still manage to post on a regular basis.
For that past year (and perhaps a little longer than that), I've been too busy to "use my words." I think I'm realizing that I'm pretty single-minded and dogged-as-hell when it comes to new stuff. I can tackle blogging or family life or starting a new company, but I'm finding that I can't do more than two simultaneous projects that require intense levels of brain occupation at the same time. I can work and raise a family, but the other stuff—writing, volunteering, spending time with friends—has somehow fallen into the "extraneous" category. I used to be the High Priestess of Multitasking, but now I find I am being forced to make some tough choices about how I spend my precious free time.
Because most of my focus and energy over the last year has been spent on CleverGirls Collective, most all of my spare time is devoted to my family (but I do make sure to reserve 45 minutes every morning for my runs). My girls have had to share me when I am at home (working, holding conference calls from (9pm until midnight), had to endure my sporadic appearances as a classroom volunteer (because of meetings and other work commitments), and had fewer play dates this year than last because I'm out of town or too exhausted to turn on the sparkle for kids who are not my own.
All of that makes me not want to spend my free time blogging, and that makes me sad, especially when I look back over months and years of posts (in this space since 2004) and see how much time and effort I put into my writing. I'm so thankful that I have a record of Bunny and Wallie's young lives here because if I tried to put it all down today, I would be struggling. Badly.
I think about writing a lot. I think about not writing even more.
Every time I click over to CityMama I think, "Man, I really miss writing here. Really writing here." I love sharing weekly menus (because when you share yours it inspires me) and I love sharing recipes to show that cooking for families can be a fun and creative experience. I am digging that more and more people (normal, everyday people) are tossing around terms like "eating local" or "pastured beef." I've been doing it for years both on the now defunct Family Food and on CityMama, and am happy to have to company.
I love thinking about and writing about food almost as much as I love cooking. I'll write a post over and over in my head until another one takes its place. Or eventually I'll say it in a much edited, abbreviated 140 characters. Then the need to say it is gone as well as the need to park thoughts here.
So that's where I am, getting all meta and reflective and feeling frustrated and stuff. Work is busier then ever (an unbelievably good thing), and family life doesn't ever slow down (summer is coming up adding its own set of complications), so I'm not sure where I go from here. I just wanted to share a few regrets, but also my deep and abiding appreciation for my favorite bloggers, writers, and community-builders who have managed to keep on keepin' on (brilliantly, I might add) over the years. Who have figured out a way to keep the blog mojo going much better than I. I'm tired and torn, but I hope to get that fire back soon.
I've read these fine folks for a long, long time, and I hope they never, ever stop writing.Heather