CityMama™

Blogalicious '09: Wish I could just bottle up this feeling and take it with me everywhere

I've been busy for the past couple of weeks getting ready to attend the Blogalicious Conference in Atlanta. My company, Clever Girls Collective, was an official sponsor and hosted one of the parties which was such a blast! (More on that in another post!)

Swag bags in the Clever Girls Suite--We match the swank decor!

When I first heard about Blogalicious, I knew I wanted to attend, but to be able to be there as a partner--to help to support the efforts of Justices Jones, Fergie and Ny--was a distinct honor. Their vision became a reality last weekend and every aspect of the conference, down to the very last detail, was a reflection of their grace, wisdom, community-building skills, and, most importantly, welcoming and generous spirit.

Panel session on social media basics

I made new friends that I can't wait to see again.

My soul was filled by seeing old friends and being able to just bask in their presence without feeling hurried or rushed or interrupted.

I saw incredible beauty. Everywhere.

I shared smiles that I will remember for a long, long time.

I had inspiring conversations with so many women that my brain hasn't stopped spinning long enough yet for me to process (and act upon) everything I heard.

I delivered opening remarks about where we've come since 2007 when a marketer famously told me regarding reaching out to women of color, "We just don't know what to do with you" to an audience empowered to foment change. (The take-away after this weekend: Look out, marketers.)

I witnessed the generosity and camaraderie that make small women's conferences so great and can't stop thinking that niche conferences are the way to go.

For a weekend, I was immersed in a world that felt right and real and like home and I can't wait for next year.

My take on the MomDot PR Blackout

The blogosphere is abuzz with the news that MomDot has proposed a week-long PR blackout in August. This came about after a 90 minute discussion on Friday Night Live on the subject of "bloggy burnout." The conclusion drawn was that: "Mom Bloggers are simply doing too much."

With the allure of giveaways, reviews, and blog trips, Mom Bloggers have turned from what they love the most, their family, into working directly as public relations for their captive audience. It boils down to knowing your worth and then standing up for it.

Here's the MomDot solution. From August 10-August 16:

(Do) not blog ANY giveaways, ANY reviews, and Zero press releases. In fact, we dont want you to talk to PR at ALL that whole week.  We want to see your blog naked, raw, and back to basics. Talk about your kids, your marriage, your college, your hopes, your dreams, your house and whatever you can come up with for one week.

In other words, for a week, post content.

Many bloggers have shared their opinions on the whole content bloggers (writers) v. review bloggers (shills), myself included.  My own personal thoughts, in a nutshell, are that the blogosphere is big enough for both kinds of bloggers. I know the kind of blogger I want to read (or hire), but that is my personal preference.

I've been blogging since 2003 (on Typepad since early 2004) and I have always known my worth. My blogs have always been about content. I don't need to participate in a PR blackout because because my blogs have never been driven by giveaways and reviews. They've been driven by my passions and my interests. (And my passions and interests don't necessarily include doing free marketing work on behalf of companies with lots of money to pay marketing and PR folks.)

The FTC wants to regulate mommy bloggers [bring 'em on]

By now you've probably heard the news: The FTC is looking into holding blogs and bloggers (including mommy bloggers) liable for false statements made in connection with product reviews. Blogger and lawyer Linsey Krolik writes:

Simple disclaimers (what can vary, but are usually something along the lines of "I am not liable for anything I say on my blog," etc.) can provide some protection, but only go so far. Nothing can remove all risk for bloggers - there is always risk. But how large is the risk? This will depend on the blogger, the product, the situation.

You can read more about what this means here and Linsey's complete post here.

The FTC is mainly targeting bloggers who (possibly) make false claims, but the heart of the issue is blogger transparency. In other words, if you are writing about a product or service you received for free or if you were paid to post about a product or service, should you disclose it? In my opinion, the answer is a resounding yes, but there are some bloggers (and not just mommy bloggers) who haven't been as forthcoming. This creates confusion and has led to a lot of barbs being traded about mommy bloggers (especially) lacking integrity and damaging the community. I will get to that in a moment.

Dear Alex McCord and Simon Van Kempen of Real Housewives of New York City fame

I would appreciate it very much if you told your publicist to stop sending me emails asking if I want to interview you. Or ask you for parenting advice. Or hear your tips for having a happy Christmas or Festivus or Valentine's Day. Trust me, there is no advice I would ever take from you about how to raise my children.

I have told this to her repeatedly and yet, the emails keep on coming. Since January 27 I have received 4 emails from her company about you two. Add these four to the countless emails I have received since you went on this publicity blitz.  I finally took matters into my own hands on January 30 and responded:

This must be the 5th? 6th? letter I have written to you about these two jackasses.  Please, I do not care about alex and simon. In fact, I think they are two of the biggest aholes on the planet. Please remove me from your distribution or I just might blog about how desperate alex and simon are for publicity that they keep siccing their PR people on me.

On February 11, I opened my email to find yet another email about you. Did I want to interview you about your parenting book?  No!  No!  A thousand times no!

Alex and Simon, I get at least 50 PR emails a day.  I don't have time for this nonsense. "What could I do," I thought to myself, "To once and for all get off of this distribution list?"  What would it take to be stricken from the records, as it were. I decided to take drastic measures. And, admittedly, it's not pretty. But you guys have resorted to drastic measures to get things that you needed (like your kids into a fancy private school), right?

Hi (publicist),

Remember this letter I sent you not too long ago? In fact, it was dated January 30.

This must be the 5th? 6th? letter I have written to you about these two jackasses.  Please, I do not care about alex and simon. In fact, I think they are two of the biggest aholes on the planet. Please remove me from your distribution or I just might blog about how desperate alex and simon are for publicity that they keep sicing their PR people on me.

Who do I have to (insert your favorite naughty act here) to get off your PR list regarding these two douchebags? The day I take parenting advice from these two dicks is the day hell freezes over. Maybe what I really need to do is blog this whole exchange and maybe, finally, you'll stop sending me press releases about the most annoying couple on TV.

About a minute later, I get this response addressed "For Stephanie"—and isn't it just so fitting that she got my name wrong:

If you consider yourself a professional, you should be profoundly ashamed of your language in this e-mail. You certainly owe me an apology. We are taking you off our media lists for all of our clients. I have no interest in doing business with someone who behaves as you do.

(Publicist)

Now Alex, Simon, I've written my share of "PR people take heed/our voices will be heard" posts over the years, and frankly, I'm kind of tired of them.  Some of the nicest, most professional people I know work in PR.  I've met PR folks through blogging that now I would consider friends. Most of my exchanges with PR folks have been positive, but if your business requires sending out mass emails—whether you are a PR agency a retailer or Barack Obama—and a recipient asks to be removed from the list, remove her from the list.  Yes, I have filters and folders on my email account, but at the end of the day, it's not my responsibility. In the end, isn't it more important to have a meaningful email distribution list full of people ready to blog, buy, or donate?

In the end,  I got what I wanted, and I let her know.

Hallelujah! 

I love it.  You can harass me repeatedly regarding Alex and Simon, ignore my repeated requests to be removed from your distribution list, then lecture ME for being unprofessional? That is HILARIOUS.

Thank you for FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY taking me off your lists!  Hooray!!

 Whatever it takes, Alex and Simon.  Whatever it takes.

Except that since that exchange, she's emailed me two more times asking me if I want to interview you and sent more separate emails about face creams and collagen and other beauty products. Am I interested in beauty products? Is it something I blog and Twitter about? Yes, I love beauty products. But I will never ever in a million years blog anything she emails spams me about. Funny, she has no interest in doing business with me and yet--she can't stop trying to do business with me!

Please, I am begging you. Make her stop.

 

Blogger, Marketer, Mother: My revised take on the "making money while blogging" thing

Last week I had the pleasure (and truly, it was a pleasure) of attending the Mom 2.0 Summit in Houston, a gathering of marketers, new media-types, and blogging moms. The main reason I wanted to attend the conference was because it was less bloggy and more "marketer-y." Don't get me wrong, I love attending the conferences that focus on blogging, but for the past several years, I've worked hard at transitioning my career from being a professional blogger/blog editor to being an online media consultant who focuses on the marketing side of things (this still includes hiring bloggers, blogger outreach, and social media strategizing). I will always be a blogger, but marketing is what I did before I had kids and it's where my true passion lies.

I went to Mom2 to connect and network. I went to meet other women who do what I do. I am glad I wasn't the only person in the room who raised their hand twice when asked, "Are there any bloggers here?" then "Are there any marketers here?" And I was struck by how many of my peers (like my roomie and partner-in-crime) were in the same situation.

When we first decided that I would stay home with our older daughter, I knew that going from playdate to playground wouldn't be enough to keep me from going bananas. I knew that eventually, as soon as I figured out how to care for, adjust to, and nurture my baby, I would need to figure out how to care for and nurture myself. In 2001-2002, newly pregnant and seeking out experiences of like-minded and like-stated women, I stumbled upon the blog phenomenon. Sometime in 2003, I decided that I wanted to be part of the experiment. There was no such thing as ads on blogs or sponsored posts or vlogging back then. When I started, I had to teach myself HTML in order to be able to post links and photos. But always in the back of my mind I knew that my blog was going to be my bridge to my new work life. I didn't want it to ever be work--after all it was for me mostly--but thought it could lead to something that was. I knew after being at home and setting my own schedule that I could never work in an office (at least full-time) ever again.

So how would I make this work?

Blog World Expo 08: My very brief take plus some thoughts that I didn't get to share on my panel (for the PR people)

At the beginning of the summer, I had definite plans to be at Blog World Expo on a panel with some kick-ass muthabloggas. As the summer progressed, those plans mutated, changed, folded in upon themselves, and fell apart.

Which brings me to exactly one week ago when Sheila called to ask if I wanted to be on a panel with her at BWE08 and I said, "No."

"I'm leaning towards no."

"I really have no desire to go to Vegas."

But Sheila is persistent (and she offered to let me snug up with her and Mr. XiaolinMama) and that's how I found myself on a plane to Vegas four days later to participate in a panel discussion on "How to Pitch to (Mom) Bloggers." Moderating the panel was the always fabulous and righteously smaht Susan Getgood.

photo courtesy: Sheila Bernus Dowd

Here are my thoughts on BWE08, but please, take them with a grain of salt since I didn't attend the entire conference. Why? Mamma doesn't like being away from her babies.

Barack Obama answers MOMocrats' questions in exclusive interview!

Did you read that title!  Did you? I am so excited I can hardly contain myself!

When Glennia, Beth, and I started MOMocrats six months ago (yes, only six months ago) sitting in Coupa Cafe, we never thought it would come to this. Now we have 22 writers contributing to our national, netroots, political blog. Our contributors include three Huffington Post bloggers, an entrepreneur, an ex-director of GLAAD, a policy analyst, several lawyers, many professional and personal bloggers, a film-maker, a homeless advocate, and a youth advocate. All of us, no matter what we do have three things in common: we are moms, we are passionate about issues that affect our families, and we are dedicated to making sure a Democrat gets elected president.

I don't have the funds to attend every fundraiser that comes along, but what I do have are 10 fingers, a laptop, and enough marketing savvy to make me dangerous. MOMocrats is my phone banking. It is my check-book-wielding. It is my canvassing neighborhoods. It is all of that on a world-wide scale. Some people drop checks in the mail. I drop knowledge along with 21 other kick-ass women. It is the best way I know how to make change happen.

With that, I present our very first press release written to promote our very very exciting news. Yes, we send press releases now. P.S. Big thank you to Geoff Livingston for helping us get the word out.

Yes we can.

I know we can.

We are doing it.

As PunditMom says, "MOMocrats: World Domination by 2012!"  I think we're well on our way.

:: :: ::

MOMocrats EXCLUSIVE with Barack Obama

MOMocrats step up where mainstream media and traditional debates let the American public down, "Things we wish they'd asked in the debates..."

Recently, MOMocrats asked the Democratic Presidential candidates the questions we all wish reporters or moderators had asked in any interview or debate. Today, Senator Barack Obama sent back his answers to the MOMocrats' questions. This is the latest example of the influence political blogging groups are showing in the presidential campaign.

The most recent debate between the Democratic candidates was disappointing to most citizens. We felt that the questions were directed more towards mud slinging between the candidate rather than substantive questions about domestic and foreign policy. So the MOMocrats and their readers came up with a list of "Questions We Wish ABC Had Asked." Then we submitted them to the candidates.

In a MOMocrats exclusive, Barack Obama answers the questions that should have been asked during the last debate. Click here to read our interview, in which he finally gets to discuss the issues, not his apparel or acquaintances.

 

"We were really frustrated with the questions that were asked in the last debate so we came up with a list of questions from our contributors and readers," said MOMocrats Managing Editor Glennia Campbell. "We appreciated that the Obama campaign took our questions seriously and answered them thoroughly."

We haven't heard from the Clinton campaign yet, but the MOMocrats invitation for Senator Clinton to weigh in remains open.

The MOMocrats are savvy, politically active moms dedicated to putting a Democrat in the White House. You can read more about them at MOMocrats. For more information, contact Glennia Campbell at glennia.campbell@gmail.com or [edited from orig press release: leave a note in the comments if you'd like to talk to Glennia by phone. I will put you in touch with her.]

Cancel the torch run says C.W. Nevius, and I gotta say, I agree

I am amazed that the protesters who climbed the cables on the Golden Gate Bridge to unfurl their "Free Tibet" banners didn't get immediately picked off by SWAT snipers. Ever since 9/11 the Golden Gate Bridge has been under tight security. The conspiracy theorist in me thinks that the bridge police were tipped off, otherwise how else could three people climb the cables in broad daylight on one of the world's most recognizable landmarks and not have something tragic happen to at least one of them.

San Francisco Chronicle columnist C.W. Nevius is calling for the tomorrow's torch run to be canceled and I agree. Yesterday, I wondered if the San Francisco relay would be canceled.  Nevius says:

Look, Monday's protest on the Golden Gate Bridge was about as effective and safe as you are going to see. On a sun-splashed San Francisco day, three climbers scaled cables on the Golden Gate Bridge, unfurled two banners with the precision of an America's Cup crew, then came down peacefully to turn themselves over to authorities.

I support the Free Tibet cause. I the protests and the peaceful protesters. I support any athlete who who chooses to use her or his time in the international spotlight to make a political statement. I just don't want anyone to get hurt. 

I considered going to protest, even taking my five-year-old with me. But when I saw what happened in London, I said forget it. Then came Paris and yeah. That sealed the deal. There is no way I would drag my kid into that mix. The protests are supposed to be peaceful. In San Francisco, the protesters have designated protest spots. Right! San Francisco's police are probably as patient as you are going to find—we're used to protests here—but tomorrow, if this is allowed to continue, it's going to be ugly.

San Francisco is the only U.S. stop for the torch before it continues on its "goodwill tour." And that's just it. It's not generating goodwill. It is a PR bust of epic proportions so stop it already, China and the I.O.C. Who is handling your PR?!  I don't see the point of continuing this farce. Given China's human rights record, what city on the tour would welcome the flame with open arms?

And what is going to happen when it reaches Tibet?  I really don't need to know the answer to that question.

BlogHer Business: "We don't know what to do with you."/ Pitching to bloggers of color (My session.)

After having a couple of days to think about the BlogHer Business social media outreach session on which I was invited to be a panelist (live blog link), I have come to the conclusion that there is still more to talk about when it comes to pitching to bloggers of color. We started a conversation at BlogHer07 and while my panel session continued the conversation, it was just the tip of the iceberg.

As I was sitting at the gate waiting to board my plane to New York, the question suddenly hit me: "As a multicultural person, what do I want from PR people?" After all, as Susan Getgood says, I am their customer and PR firms need to be asking themselves, "What can we do for bloggers?" I realized that I didn't really have a good answer.

Knowing that a fair amount of PR people follow me on Twitter, I quickly sent out a query: Have thoughts on pitching to bloggers of color? DM me.  Immediately, my inbox was flooded with responses. One person said, "I don't think about it, I pitch to everyone equally." Another said, "I don't think my firm makes a conscious effort one way or another." Bloggers of color also responded with some version of "please let me know what the PR people say."

As I boarded the plane, I had a lot to think about.

I was 99% done talking about it, and this brings me to 100%.

Erin Kotecki Vest has another great post up about the business of mommyblogging which leads with this 'graph:

I’m getting myself very out of sorts lately following all the J&J, Disney drama. It has nothing to do with who got invited, who got snubbed, who got an email, who got a pitch, who is going, who is staying silent.

Nothing.

Thank you, Erin.  I have been a teense perturbed by how this issue has morphed into people crying into their coffee about not being invited to (or not being able to attend) Camp Baby. I know people are hurt but I am not one of them. My feelings are fine. The take-away from my experience, why I wanted to share it, was to point out that they treated potential business partners in a completely unprofessional manner. You don't treat people you want to build a relationship with, whether it be a friend or a business associate, the way they treated many bloggers.

I'll even go out on a limb and say that while I think it's stupid of them to plan the event during the week, and to not allow breastfeeding infants, I think it's the mostest stupidest of the people working on the event that they didn't follow the same game plan. There was so much confusion. So much misinformation. At least they should have had a coherent policy on why bloggers could/could not attend. All of this goes back to relationship-building. Were they successful?

To recap:

• I felt pressured into attending Camp Baby. (3 invites from 3 different people.)
• I felt pressured to RSVP. (Hurry, space is filling up.)
• I RSVP'd that I would attend after juggling childcare/work arrangements.
• Note: no travel arrangements were required for me other than getting me from J&J in New Jersey to Manhattan so I could attend BlogHer Biz.
• I was disinvited because I would have to leave early to attend BlogHer Biz. I was told I needed to be at the event the whole time.
• Since then I've been contacted by bloggers who were told that "it's okay" if they can only attend part of the time and they are attending under those conditions
• I've also been contacted by bloggers saying that they were enticed into attending with first class tickets (which were not offered to everyone).

Who they wanted to invite is their business. How they wanted to do it is their business, too, but their plan should have been iron-clad. If you weren't invited and are hurt, it doesn't feel good and I'm sorry. Let it go—more opportunities will surely come along. It's the way the Mommyblogger world works at the moment.

Erin lists all the reasons why people start blogs, especially mom blogs, and I have to say my reasons were slightly different—and two-fold. Yes, I wanted to connect with people and share my experiences which at the time were about parenting in a urban (city) environment, something I wasn't reading too much about back in the day.